Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Monday, September 6, 2010
Execute a Special Plan - Denise Brown
Denise on September 6th, 2010
ESP usually means “extrasensory perception.”
Today, it means: Execute a Special Plan.
When you look around and think, “I’m out of options. I can’t find another choice,” use your ESP. When you want to sit and cry because nothing seems to work, use your ESP. When you want to run and hide because it seems so much bigger than you, use your ESP.
Your ESP contains ideas, suggestions, support and inspirations. Turn a box or a folder into your ESP that includes:
- the good ideas you hear from your support group;
- a directory of phone numbers for organizations and individuals who may be able to help;
- clips of articles you read that make you think, “Now that’s a good idea!”;
- pages from books that offer tips on making difficult decisions;
- past ESPs, including what part of the plan worked and why it worked;
- photos and quotes that bring comfort.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Dream by Denise Brown
Denise on August 30th, 2010
Dream
We dream at night.
Why can’t we also dream during the day? Why can’t we dream of the life we want?
Why bother, you may say, my dreams will never come true. They can’t come true during caregiving.
Maybe. And, maybe not. Dream:
- You stand your ground with grace and self-respect with those who would like to undercut your efforts;
- You see and embrace the moments of joy present each day for you;
- You live a life that reflects your values;
- You continue to enjoy those activities and hobbies that lighten your step;
- You look back at your life and can say: I’m so glad I did that;
- You evaluate your needs and then take steps to have them met;
- You look back at your life and can say: I’m so glad I said that;
- You have a bank account that allows you to make your choices;
- You consider your wants and then go out and get them;
- You have relationships which you love and which love you right back;
- You look good when you walk into a room (any room).
Monday, August 23, 2010
Music by Denise Brown
Image via WikipediaDenise on August 23rd, 2010 caregiving.com
Music seems quite miraculous.
Often, our memories can be tied to a song. We hear a certain song and we’re transformed to another decade, a different life, a younger self.
When we hear a snappy tune, we tap our feet, sway our head, snap our fingers.
And, singing a favorite song feels like the best kind of scream.
We also can make music without having to carry a tune. The right relationship, in which we just fit, can be like a beautiful melody. The exchange of a smile between you and a treasured someone can be like a perfect harmony.
And, when you write about your caregiving journey in your journal (or blog), you write the lyrics to a very special ballad. It’s a little bit of a concert symphony, a little bit of a musical and a lot of dramatic opera.
Most important, it’s your song. Sing the song and dance the music. Flow to the sound of caregiving. And, in the flow, find the energy to face tomorrow.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
End of Life Caregiving - Caregiver's Library
Trust Yourself
If you have provided primary care to a loved one for a longer period of time, you are probably the person most equipped to determine what needs to be done now, and to fulfill his or her wishes. Trust in your ability to handle these additional responsibilities, but also realize that some things are out of your control.
If you have been placed into an end-of-life caregiving role by a crisis or event, try not to second-guess what you are feeling. Understand that conflicting emotions—fear, anger, grief, and helplessness—are natural, and have confidence in your own judgment
Understand the End Stage
Having some knowledge about what lies ahead—physically, emotionally, and spiritually—can make a real difference as you and your family prepare for the death of your loved one. Talk to your loved one’s doctor, nurse, and other members of the health care team about what to expect. Discuss these issues with family members, friends, children, and visitors when appropriate.
Connect with Support Structures
This includes family, friends, clergy and ministers, professionals, volunteers—anyone and everyone who has something to offer. Take advantage of help wherever you can find it, and avoid the all-too-common tendency of caregivers to become isolated.
Keep in mind, too, that most people want to help, but may be uncomfortable making the offer or with the circumstances. Make it easy for them. Let others know what they can do, in a concrete, practical way.
Review Legal and Financial Arrangements
This may include wills, powers of attorney (both financial and healthcare), “no code” or do-not-resuscitate orders, as well as the location and disposition of important documents and proofs of ownership. Having all of these measures in place and up-to-date will spare you and your family time and difficulty.
Maintain Your Health and Well-Being
It’s easy to lose sight of your own needs and requirements during this time. Do what you can to maintain balance in your own life—physically, spiritually, and socially. If you feel selfish or guilty for spending time on yourself, keep in mind that no one can draw water from an empty well.
Evaluate Hospice
Hospice services have a high success rate in battling pain and helping terminal patients remain comfortable. Some families may have a difficult time with the idea of stopping efforts to combat a disease, but it’s important to consider all care options. Because hospice patients are cared for by a team (physicians, nurses, social workers, counselors, clergy, therapists, and volunteers), you may want to look at and interview services in advance, to choose a group that the family is comfortable with.
“Palliative care” programs likewise focus on maintaining comfort, but there is no expectation that life-prolonging therapies will not be used. And while hospice services commonly take place in the home, palliative care teams usually work in facilities or institutions.
Pre-Plan if You Can
There are many steps that can and should be taken well in advance of a loved one’s final days. These include a letter of last instructions (in which your loved one sets down his or her wishes for the funeral or ceremony), as well as pre-planning with a funeral home. Many choices and details can be finalized beforehand, when everyone is thinking clearly. This offers the additional reassurance that matters are being carried out in accordance with your loved one’s wishes.
http://www.caregiverslibrary.org/Default.aspx?tabid=94
If you have provided primary care to a loved one for a longer period of time, you are probably the person most equipped to determine what needs to be done now, and to fulfill his or her wishes. Trust in your ability to handle these additional responsibilities, but also realize that some things are out of your control.
If you have been placed into an end-of-life caregiving role by a crisis or event, try not to second-guess what you are feeling. Understand that conflicting emotions—fear, anger, grief, and helplessness—are natural, and have confidence in your own judgment
Understand the End Stage
Having some knowledge about what lies ahead—physically, emotionally, and spiritually—can make a real difference as you and your family prepare for the death of your loved one. Talk to your loved one’s doctor, nurse, and other members of the health care team about what to expect. Discuss these issues with family members, friends, children, and visitors when appropriate.
Connect with Support Structures
This includes family, friends, clergy and ministers, professionals, volunteers—anyone and everyone who has something to offer. Take advantage of help wherever you can find it, and avoid the all-too-common tendency of caregivers to become isolated.
Keep in mind, too, that most people want to help, but may be uncomfortable making the offer or with the circumstances. Make it easy for them. Let others know what they can do, in a concrete, practical way.
Review Legal and Financial Arrangements
This may include wills, powers of attorney (both financial and healthcare), “no code” or do-not-resuscitate orders, as well as the location and disposition of important documents and proofs of ownership. Having all of these measures in place and up-to-date will spare you and your family time and difficulty.
Maintain Your Health and Well-Being
It’s easy to lose sight of your own needs and requirements during this time. Do what you can to maintain balance in your own life—physically, spiritually, and socially. If you feel selfish or guilty for spending time on yourself, keep in mind that no one can draw water from an empty well.
Evaluate Hospice
Hospice services have a high success rate in battling pain and helping terminal patients remain comfortable. Some families may have a difficult time with the idea of stopping efforts to combat a disease, but it’s important to consider all care options. Because hospice patients are cared for by a team (physicians, nurses, social workers, counselors, clergy, therapists, and volunteers), you may want to look at and interview services in advance, to choose a group that the family is comfortable with.
“Palliative care” programs likewise focus on maintaining comfort, but there is no expectation that life-prolonging therapies will not be used. And while hospice services commonly take place in the home, palliative care teams usually work in facilities or institutions.
Pre-Plan if You Can
There are many steps that can and should be taken well in advance of a loved one’s final days. These include a letter of last instructions (in which your loved one sets down his or her wishes for the funeral or ceremony), as well as pre-planning with a funeral home. Many choices and details can be finalized beforehand, when everyone is thinking clearly. This offers the additional reassurance that matters are being carried out in accordance with your loved one’s wishes.
http://www.caregiverslibrary.org/Default.aspx?tabid=94
Thursday, July 8, 2010
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